Most people like to be in balance. When I ask what that means exactly, I often get a surprising answer: experiencing only pleasant, positive thoughts and emotions. My next question then is: how can you be in balance with only the positive? Does not the balance tip to one side?
A beautiful symbol of balance is the black and white Tao symbol: yin and yang are in dynamic equilibrium in this symbol. The white and the black, symbolizing positive and negative, are present in each other, continuously and eternally in motion. Balance is therefore not something you can accomplish for good and check off your list.
As human beings, we mainly want and seek pleasant experiences and label everything else as undesirable. This is a normal and natural process in every human being. Sometimes people add to this from a spiritual vision: ‘I am light and love and everything else is an illusion.’
What are illusions?
Now there are a lot of misunderstandings about the concept of illusion in the context of spirituality. In short, illusion in this context only means that something is temporary, as opposed to our eternal nature as spiritual beings. The body, our thoughts and our emotions are all temporary.
Michael, the spiritual teacher from the causal realm reminds us, ‘You are spiritual beings having a human experience‘. And therein lies the crux, in that human experience.
Do you want to be human or angelic?
Let these questions sink in: Do you really engage in your human experiences? With everything that goes with it, including fear, sadness, anger, physical pain and discomfort? Or do you only want to experience a part of your humanity, such as enjoying through your senses and having only nice thoughts and pleasant emotions?
Being human on earth is a package deal. Everything wants to be experienced by your soul, it is only your human mind that disapproves and rejects experiences. During sessions in my practice I often guide people in daring to feel their body again, all the signals it gives and the emotions that want to flow through it. That is valuable communication from your soul, aimed at your awareness and well-being.
As long as we can allow all our experiences inwardly, the energy of our emotions can continue to flow in the body until it ebbs away naturally. Our body is such an important sounding board that we can listen to and get feedback from on important issues.
We certainly do not have to live out those emotions in behaviour: what matters is the non-judgmental recognition and giving it space internally, so that you do not suppress and banish to the shadows, but experience and grow.
If you feel anger rising and do not want to feel it because you are light and love, you are doing spiritual bypass: you bypass and deny your human experience and place yourself directly above it by going to the spiritual level of your being. In fact, this is a form of spiritual arrogance.
So you take the short route, the bypass, to your spiritual nature by skipping the human experiences. Unfortunately, you skip exactly what we came here to do on planet earth: experience being human to the fullest, with all that it entails.
Connect or identify, that is the question
An important distinction is the difference between connecting with and identifying with your humanity.
Connect fully with your body and all your human experiences, that is, allow them, give them space and experience them. Do this without identifying with it, without the thought that you are those experiences. You are not your body, thoughts and emotions, but you do have them.
Ostrich politics will not be helpful. Relax, open yourself to all that wants to flow through you and at the same time realize that you are much more than your experiences. Consciously choose what you do and do not want to express.
Just because you feel something does not mean it has to be lived out. It is precisely there that you make the connection with your consciousness as a spiritual being and you have the freedom of choice whether or not to do something with your inner experiences in the outer world.
This is how you connect the human experience with your spiritual nature and – through practice, trial and error and a lot of self-compassion – you will get better and better at this.